Posted by Maggie
I am not a patient person. (Those of you who know me well can quit laughing anytime now.)
I like being busy. I always have lists, schedules, calendars and deadlines. I like knowing what I need to accomplish each day and set out to do it, then cross it off and move on.
So you might not be surprised to know that having to sdend 3 days just getting an appointment with the oncologist who is to start my treatment immediately make me pretty cranky. It's finally all sorted out, but it was just a bunch of medical beuracracy that could have been dealt with days ago.
Ah, well, be patient.
On a good note the new shower walls arrived a couple days early. I am very close to having a lovely, safe new shower.
On my short list of the worst features of this unattractive illness, I am terribly frustrated with the inability to move. I suppose the desire for independent unassisted motion connects right back to that whole bit about impatience and busy-ness.
And I'm impatient to paint. More roses arrived today and they are simply gorgeous. Shaky or not, tomorrow I think I will pull out some pastels. Night all.
Hang in there, Maggie!Definitely get the pastels out; they will make you feel better!
ReplyDeleteMaggie, thinking of you still and praying for patience for you and speedy appointments and such to get you and the road to recovery. I agree with Sharon above ... get out a few pastels,, if all you do is make a few strokes ..it will make you feel good to do it!
ReplyDeletePraying for your strength and Patience Maggie. I think it's a great idea to get out your pastels and make some art. I'll get mine out today too so we can paint together. Take care and rest when your body tells you to.
ReplyDeleteSuggestion: I know this isn't a satisfactory substitution for your life as you knew it before... but may be of help until you start your recovery. We just got a ROKU.. a device to attach to your tv which enables you to watch movies, tv programs, etc, on demand, that were shown in the past. I just finished watching Downton Abbey (a PBS production), season 1 and 2 non-stop... A wonderful program. And that's just the tip of the iceburg as to what might be available. You'll need many ways to entertain yourself until you become able to do more things.
ReplyDeletePatient takes on two different meanings in this context, of course. The impatient patient... Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, can engage my anger more quickly than dealing with bureaucratic ineptness (words that far too often accompany "doctor" and "appointment.") I don't know why, but when I read your post I recalled the early days of the PJ when you were in the house down in Albuquerque. I was seated at Little Mac with my back to the room. Bill was doing his usual quietly efficient work and you were writing. I was a bit frustrated, since computers were new to me, but I didn't want to constantly interrupt, so I sat there trying to figure something out (like where the whole screen had gone and how to get it back!) I have this clear memory of listening to you type. Fast. The quick little tap tap taps sounded like staccato rain on the roof. You were talking to yourself the whole time. Not really sentences, just advice, phrases like, "No, not that," or "What was that about?" or "Okaaaaay." I was drubbing away over in the corner and you were flying! No wonder the magazine took off, your "impatience" and busy-ness (rather persistence and perseverance) were poured into the magazine. So now you're starting on another new path, this time a lot more personal, but I figure you'll pour that energy into the fight. Yes, I laughed at your first sentence, but it wasn't a laugh of derision. It was more understanding than that. Shaky or not, I think you will pull those pastels out. And I suspect you'll be talking to yourself the whole time. Go fly a little. <3 Deborah
ReplyDeleteMy prayers and thoughts are with you every day, Maggie. And that suggestion about getting your creative juices and brain engaged using other art-forms, like Masterpiece Theater?? Downton Abbey, and the Mystery Series like -Vera- and -Inspector Lewis- are topnotch, and lovely to watch. A new series -Call the Midwife- set in 1950s London after WWII is exceptional; but you have to watch that one from the beginning of the series. And...maybe get that sketchpad out while you are watching?? Who can pass-up those wonderful countryside colors, scenes and stage sets?? Stay Warm and GodBless~
ReplyDeleteMaggie, I want to assure you that you are not alone by being inpatient. When I got my diagnosis, the same thing happened to me, and that was when? six months ago! The ineptness of schedulers, technicians, customer (non) service reps, anyone who couldn't or wouldn't perform promptly and courteously threw me into a rage. I just felt like I didn't have time, literally, to deal with this c--p. Now I'm finally able to calm myself down, and not scream at them "Will you please shut up and LISTEN to me?" I hope and pray that you will reach that point soon, too, but in the meantime, I completely understand. And you are not alone! Remember that. We are here for you. So much love is flowing to you. Our thoughts and prayers are with all the time.
ReplyDeleteHi Maggie, Looking at your smiling pic next to my easel; still picturing you in the whirling rainbow of healing light. Will do this everyday till you are well.
ReplyDeleteJust added Bill's pic next to my easel. Will keep you both in my thoughts.
ReplyDeleteDear Maggie, There are no answers to why we are given these challenges in life to deal with. But I do know that it is "HOW" we choose to deal with them that counts. Writing, painting, and talking through it sounds very healing and comforting. My heart goes out to you and you are in my daily prayers. We are women/artists and we are alike in many way. Love to you Maggie and I will keep abreast of your progress and healing. You have many admirers and people who care, I am one of them. Kind Regards, Claudia Post
ReplyDeleteWhen I got home from the hospital after my heart attack one of the first things I did was go into my studio where I hugged my easel. There was a work in progress sitting there with the pastel sticks laid out. I picked one up and started painting. I picked up another stick, it was then that I know I had the motivation to do what ever it took for my recovery (half of my heart was damaged). I walked out of my studio a minute later to lay down. A decision had been made.
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